Ten months old today!!!

Look! I even got the pictures up with the letter!!!























Dear E,
This month I totally did remember to take notes along the way of all of the amazing strides you started making, but now…I can’t remember what I did with the paper. It’s around here somewhere…but I get the feeling the things listed there would be out of date already—that even though they happened and were new at the beginning of this month, they would already feel like a lifetime ago. Just in the past few weeks you’ve had some incredible new developments. I can’t believe you’re 10 months old. That’s two digits. Ten seems so much older than nine. You’re so close to a year old now, it’s ridiculous, and I find myself stunned at the prospect of being the mother of a one year old. When did this happen?

Evelyn, this month you grew not one, but TWO teeth. The first one was the right of the bottom center two, and now the left fella is coming in. They are adorable. I never knew teeth could be so cute. Somehow this month your overall cuteness has been almost overwhelming, and even more than ever before I can’t seem to resist the urge to nibble on your feet and kiss your little nose and every other inch of you. It is borderline obscene how cute you are. Oh, and I don’t think I’ve mentioned it in a while, but you have gorgeous eyes. Seriously. They are sometimes grey, sometimes hazel, and sometimes look more green. Whatever color they are, they are framed by thick gorgeous lashes and are alight with curiosity and observation.

Food has become an issue for us in that this month you became sort of, orange. Actually, I think you’ve been gradually becoming orange for a while now, but this month it got to the point where I felt I needed to check and make sure you’re alright. (On the day we returned from the clinic one of the neighbors asked if you’d been “baby tanning.” I’m not sure that she was joking.) The conclusion seems to be that you have too much carotene in your diet, and although it’s a perfectly harmless condition that will fade with time, it definitely was a concern that loomed over a great portion of this month. You continue to really enjoy mealtimes, though, especially finger foods and feeding yourself. In one of those aforementioned moments of overwhelming cuteness, you very clearly wanted to share and thus fed me a Cheerio. Swoon. What a sweet girl you are. Hardly a meal goes by now that you don’t want to share something with me, and of course, you love sharing with Chokydar too.

You’ve begun to attempt conversation with me as well. A favorite game is tongue clicking back and forth. You click. I click. You click again. The possibilities are endless! You really enjoy animal sounds, especially the hissing of a snake and a sheep’s “baa.” Your sense of humor is starting to emerge in earnest too. Certain expressions and noises I can count on to leave you in stitches. Sometimes I’m not sure what you’re laughing at, but it makes me laugh all the same, which you find very funny in turn, and we just feed off each other infectiously.

Some of the most exciting stuff (motor skills wise) has begun to happen just in the last week. The first event was when you managed to pull yourself up on the ottoman. I was so proud of you and was nearly moved to tears by the look of pure joy and accomplishment radiating from your face. The next day, catching the wave of your momentum, you not only pulled up on the ottoman, but cruised around the perimeter—yes, that’s right—you made your way from point A to B WHILE STANDING. You were as wobbly as a new born colt and giggled with glee the whole way. A few days later your moonwalk crawl transformed before my eyes into a full out, belly off the floor crawl, not only backwards, but forwards too! This leaves me scrambling because I’ve been putting off a serious baby-proofing outside of your usual play area and “mop” has been bumped to the top of my to-do list.

In a matter of DAYS/weeks now, Evelyn, your daddy will be coming home to live with us again! As much as I’ve talked to you about this, I am prepared for it to come as something of a shock and surprise to have someone new sharing in our day to day lives. I can only tell you HOW ECSTATIC I am to have your father home after SO LONG and how much he loves you. We are so excited at the prospect of being under the same roof again and I know that he is nervously and excitedly anticipating getting to know you in person. He has fallen deeper and deeper in love with you from a distance, and I’m delirious with joy to get to watch you and he learn all about one another.

I love you always and always,

Mommy



And here's one more video of the crawling! Very similar to the other I posted, except I really love Choky just quietly observing from the background. Believe me, it is taking every ounce of her willpower to not try and play with Evie's feet as she crawls.

Still another

As I stood there, contemplating all the work that needed to be done, I suddenly realised that we had a 1/4 acre of land to tend to, but grew nothing that could be eaten! I do have a few potted herbs, but a meal for six hungry children can't be made from herbs and dandelions alone!

I've started to prepare a small piece of earth. I'm hoping it will eventually grow and expand into a big, beautiful, organic vegetable garden. I can't begin to express how excited I am! Of course I'm already dreaming of chickens and fresh eggs, fruit trees and worm farms! This winter will be a time of preparation and planning - i've never had a real garden before, so please, wish me luck!

So this [week] has been spent gardening, looking after sick children (now better), and crafting - trying to catch up on all my orders.

This [weekend] will be spent gardening, crafting, and visiting the niche markets . Can't wait to meet some wonderful local makers and designers, and i'm sure i'll find some treasures to bring home too.

"From small things, big things grow". I hope so.

This is a test too

Sometimes I find myself craving silence - just for a moment.
No conversations. No music. Nothing.
Just silence.
Please.

I need to hear nothing but the sound of my own heart beat. Nothing but the sound of my own breath. This is when I can listen to me. I can ponder, and plan and refocus. I can live in the present and take in the beauty. I can find contentment and joy amongst the divine chaos that is my reality.

We've been invited by Sheri and Shari to find joy during the month of May. It's a wonderful opportunity for me to consciously choose three areas of my life to embrace and live more authentically - to find a little pocket of silence within each experience so i can listen to my heart and really feel the joy.

[walking] Taking in the beauty around me. Picking up a piece of nature along the way to share .

[creating] For no reason other than the simple pleasure of it.

[playing] Making memories with the little people in my life.

These are my three things.

"Let the beauty we love, be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground" ~ Rumi

Today's Test

As always, I'm so glad to hear feedback from you. I have so much I've been thinking about this lately, but I can't seem to fully wrap my mind around it or express it properly. I keep trying, and I think with each articulation I get a tiny bit closer to what I'm trying to say, but it's so nice to know you UNDERSTAND what I'm talking about. I know you do.

Ugh. I relate so much to your story. Sometimes I just wonder about people. I think we are similar in this too--that we are quite sensitive and go to great lengths to not upset or offend others because we know how it makes us feel. So often, it seems other people just blunder though life oblivious to how what they say or do might affect other people. I know that most of the time they don't intend to be offensive, and I often try to take the blame on myself, thinking it's ME that is being too sensitive. But then I try to stop rationalizing other people's behavior and remember that I'm entitled to how I feel as well. I think way too much about this all I think, and that's probably part of the problem. I assume that since I care so much, other people must care as much too and thus I read meaning in EVERYTHING--from a look to an offhand remark.

I would have cried after that remark too. Recently I've had a mini revelation about my circumstances here. In many ways I feel I'm still adjusting to life as an "Army wife." I can't stand to not put it in quotations--I hate the way I feel about the term. It has such negative connotations for me--this is another topic I can go into another time...Anyway, one of the things blogging has done for me is to allow me to organize my thoughts a bit and reflect on them, and I don't like how negative I sound. I complain a lot. It's not who I want to be. I'm not a victim, helpless in my circumstance--I chose this life, but sometimes I have a hard time reconciling what I want for my life with what I see as imperative. The hardest part is realizing that those imperatives are things I perceive and that if I choose, I don't have to be bound by them...I'm rambling now and talking so vaguely--forgive me. Like I said, I feel like I'm stumbling around here in the dark sometimes. What I'm talking about specifically is how I LOATHE the roll of many military wives. I think it's been a rough introduction to the army culture posted here in Europe rather than the states because stateside you have more options for socialization outside of the army. When the women get together here and introductions are given, they ask you WHAT YOUR HUSBAND DOES. Every time. First thing. I HATE IT. Those who are involved